[20:14:32] DISPATCH: Units respond, multiple parties fighting near funnel cake stand.
[20:14:47] UNIT 23: Copy. Advise if this is a brawl or just a group line dance gone sideways.
[20:15:09] DISPATCH: Witness reports cotton candy sticks and corndogs being used as “weapons.” Casualties include dignity and snack supplies.
[20:15:44] UNIT 14: Arriving on scene. Confirmed: more flailing than the Tilt-a-Whirl after two spins.
[20:16:12] DISPATCH: Be advised, crowd gathering. Half filming, half yelling “WorldStar.”
[20:16:50] UNIT 31: All parties winded after 45 seconds. Requesting medics for excessive embarrassment.
[20:17:25] DISPATCH: Situation resolved. All parties banned from corndog line until further notice.
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